of blue lights.

Hamburg is a city that has its very own, unique charm. It is after long nights out that I enjoy sitting by the harbour most, looking out for the sunrise and ships moving back and forth, forth and back. Sunrise and sunset alike fill the scenery with golden colors and warmth. That is the time when I close my eyes and see the blood red of my eye lids becoming more and more intense, listening to the ships moving back and forth, forth and back.

Yesterday, I went to the harbour and felt the solitude surrounding me as I swept away in the long views of lost lights. The blue was cold, yet warm as I felt the calm melody of our song dripping softly into my ears filling it with red waves of blue light. Nothing matters in times like these. No future, no past, not even the present and the thought itself. Only the ships move back and forth. Back and forth.

belated picture update - pt 2

The ornamentic and carvings in the temples of Angkor. It is stunning.

Sunrise, sunrise,... At the temple on top of the hill in Angkor.

On the Meking, waiting for the fresh water dolphins. If you read Lars' blog you can read the story of the "Papagaienduijkers" and you'll know what I felt like.

In the Ratanakiri province in Cambodia.

Being lazy on the lake I was musing about in an earlier post. It was so beautiful.

belated picture update.

Borneo - the diver's paradise

still on the dive trip on the beautiful island of Sipadan.

The slightly disapointing Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur

Sam, Jojo and I in Siem Reap, one night before visiting the temples of Angkor.

She is one of the cutest children i have met on this journey. Short story - I always have and still do find bus trips absolutely terrible and boring. Thus, I thought how bad it must be for this small girl in Borneo and got to the result - even worse. She was with her sister and I started making funny faces which the two enjoyed a lot and answered to me in the same manner. The bus ride passed by a lot faster and I will not forget their looks of appreciation, a look I got to know in Hong Kong. It is a look of relief, a look of sympathy and a look of astonishment. That and a little smile - how much better can looks get?

culture lost?

I certainly do think so. I feel strange in a culture that once used to be mine but has now become a blurry something that does not give me what I expect from my own culture - a feeling of being home. I live here, I love to see my friends and my family again but apart from that I feel terribly strange in this country. The time in Hong Kong and beyond has been such an intense one and coming back from this chaotic place called Asia has taken its toll on me (or better a piece of my heart from me).

As lovely as it is not to be travelling and changing positions daily brings me back to a slower life that I do not accept as it is. The independence, the anarchistic approach and lifestyle of backpackers is lost for now and I don't know when (if ever) I can be part of it again and if my approach to be free in such a pretence that travelling appears to be to me is possible.

For now I have to live and adjust in a culture that I enjoy for trivial reasons but has lost a big part of me to a different part of the world.

"Le temps le plus important c'est la première fois.
Le temps le plus important c'est la deuxième fois.
Et après ça la troisième fois et on recommence.
J'ai perdu les habitudes de ma jeunesse et je me
sent désunis et à part de ma propre histoire
et on recommence."

vietnam.

The fact I am skipping Laos is that the events since my arrival in Hanoi (yesterday) have been quite intense, considering the difference in personality of Vietnamese citizens to those of Laos and Cambodia.

I was terrified by the reports I heard from other travellers and wanted to see for myself but I got to the point where I don't want to but have to agree that communication can easily turn directions within a milly second.

It all started with the airport pick-up which was adequate. Adequate until we reached the first hotel the drivers would get a commission off. I insisted on staying in the car, knowing a cheaper place to crush. The driver tried desperately to get me out of the van by ignoring my words and telling me how cheap $12 for a room a night were. "I know, mate, but I want to go to this place I saw in my guide...it's $3 a night and that's better, innit?" Didn't work. With the time driving around the driver got really annoyed with me and that contributed to my mood. I was having a blast with some other travellers, telling him I actually got a reservation in that place, which of course wasn't true. Funny thing was: He would have only had to drop me off at that place and his suffering with us would have ended. He decided against it and we went to the next hotel of his choice. Now, I was getting a little annoyed and he was having a red head. I started teasing him a little and - none of us believed it - he went to the place I told him to go to. Got off, got a cheap room with a Finnish and a Spanish, sorry, Basque, guy and went out to get hot pot while feeling like one.

This morning I got up and went to book my trip to Sapa, in the North of Vietnam. Paying about $100 for train (back and forth), accommodation (1 night homestay with local family, 1 night hotel), food and anything else but personal expenses. We'll see how it goes.

Done.