Change of Habitat

Dear Reader,

In the course of my personal development I felt the urge of moving on in my electronic identity as well. You can visit my new blog under

charcoalstained.wordpress.com

Hope you'll enjoy this one.

Cheers,

Sixthblockseven

cooper & ivy

For I am here in Australia, I certainly have to make the attempt of assimilating as well as I can in this strangely familiar environment. This attempt actually entails watching heaps of sports while sipping on a cool Cooper's Pale Ale. Coming from a fairly sporty country - as regards soccer - I felt that watching games at the pub is a nice thing to do but coming out of the pub and joining the action seemed a bit more appealing. This happened yesterday, when I attended my first Rugby match here in the Sydney Football Stadium. It was supposed to be heaven for me but turned out as one of the most boring games I must have seen in my life. The Waratahs (the local New South Wales team, named after the, for this area, typical flower) were playing the Chiefs from NZ. Knock-ons, missed tackles, lack of passion - this game had it all. After this disappointment it seemed only logic to go and forget about the game while having a couple of drinks out in town. My constant companions, Simon and Igor, took me out to a place called 'Priviledge', a name that speaks for itself. I was in fact not privileged enough to enter, even though wearing working clothes and showing up in a way I would possibly not consider if I was back home in Holland. A small talk with the bouncer followed and he did not accept my driver's license as an ID. Fair enough, you get wankers pretty much everywhere. But why do we need the 'Privilege', when we got 'The Ivy'? Awesome location with big prices but nice people. It is probably one of the poshest places I have ever been in and after last night not the last time. Oh yeah, I forgot to say that Simon and I were on our own, since Igor stayed at that former club to meet up with some of his mates. We met some girls that we asked to mime our company and within a split second were were called through, passed by the 30 meter line and entered the realms of expensive debauchery. To those of you who know me and that are aware of the fact that my background is fairly sweaty - let me tell you that I actually blow-dried my shirt under the hand-drier in the bathroom. Ridiculous. Well, my dear working colleagues with whom we attended the match as well as Adele, my dear friend I met in Hong Kong joined us and we had an awesome night.

On our return home, Adele and I decided to go onto my balcony, put down some pillows and had (what turned out to be actually two each this morning) a final beer. Adele then fell asleep and I joined in. Her endeavors to wake me up by shaking my leg, faded away in the sweet numbness of a drunkard's sleep. At about 6 am I awoke, feeling approximately 500 kg heavier, covered in mosquito bites and tired like a... ah, think of a metaphor for yourself.

Now I am sitting in the pub, hoping that our Internet connection will work on Monday, so I can have more substantial and consistent contact with everyone. Ciao me friends.

the sudden break

Well, it has almost been two weeks since I have arrived here in Australia and this will actually be he first entry after having fully settled in the new environment. I have managed to find a gorgeous place in an area that I consider metropolitan yet familiar and cheerfully childish. I guess it’s rare to find these places even though some cities have put their focus on producing retro neighborhoods with heaps of exclusive material that shows once more that the thought of something familiar to people has been abused to the extent that they spend vast amounts of money to be part of the whole. I think I have found an exceptional area where the people are just so true and just don’t take into account what other people think. My friend Ed, with whom I have gladly stayed for my first week here, mentioned this phrase that probably hugely contributes (or at least should) to one’s self confidence: “Bro, that’s what the gag is all about; just wearing whatever.” This was actually about the sunglasses of Jojo back in HK that did look kind of weird. But even on a less superficial level I can see what he means. Everybody helps each other, people are satisfied with what they have and they therefore actually have a more chilled out vibe than a lot of other people I have met thus far. I know all this sounds fairly cheesy; nonetheless it is what I think at the moment.

I come by Café Sappho every morning, get a genuine “Good morning dude, how are ya?” and then continue my way to work in a happy-go-lucky kind of way. I am in fact lucky that I got to stay with Ed since he introduced me to virtually half Sydney and I have met some people I really enjoy spending my time with.
My work is very interesting and consists of convincing the Australian Government to grant a great deal of visa to people that try to escape their miserable situations. I only realized today (after having talked with a client) that this is not just theory but that these people actually do fear for their existences and that I – or Amnesty respectively – am their last hope. It feels challenging and weird and is a tiring job since I have to read through, mostly, big files that contain legal documents that concern the cases of separate cases. Today was my fourth day of work and I already have to deal with 10 different cases of which most are thankfully not that urgent or even active but their stories are strange and worrying for my perception of human life. Every time when I see a case and think that situations could possibly not get any worse for people, they do.
As to my inner thoughts, I can think that I eventually managed to arrive in this city, that my life is becoming more organized and I can eventually start considering myself in some flow again. I even started making sketches again. I feel well.

Oz

I have eventually arrived in 'Oz', seeing through the eyes of someone that has a quite milky vision, still. Weird coming from an area that is about 40 degrees colder into the warmest weather. I have not yet arrived fully since I have indeed not found a room yet. I have been looking at only two places thus far which were, frankly, proper shit holes. I guess it is the damnation of metropolitan life that makes housing prices sky rocket as if there was no tomorrow. Fair enough. At least that's the case all over the world. I have now found some places that cost about 400 Euro a month.

Else, I can say and see that the weather - even though hot as f*** - does me good in terms of getting quite quickly out of the ever so present winter depression that Dutch winters engender so badly. I found myself doing some research on the flat situation, followed by some random strolling through the streets of this vast city. And then my feeling for the strange came back, not least due to the fact that it is once more time to say 'Gong Hei Fat Choi' which means as much as 'Happy New Year' in Chinese. I wandered around the streets of Chinatown, loosing myself in the thought and impression of being in HK again; a feeling that made my heart jump. I start liking this city but I have to get settled, make some friends and celebrate my being here. I am very much looking forward to mid February when my dear friend is moving to Sydney to work in a law firm. Sweet as, so to say. I need a couple of people that are as stoked about being here as I am and do all the stupid shenannigans that tourists are known for - going to the zoo, taking heaps of pictures and just be stunned by the beauty this country possesses but that I have yet to discover and experience.

So far for now, off to Ed's work now to sip a couple of iced coffees while talking nonsense.

Leaving on a jetplane, don't know .....

There it is again: A feeling of excitement, the want to make the plane about three times as fast, the unexpectedness about what there is to come and last, not yet least what the new home I will dwell in for the next couple of months will look like. Good feelings prevail as I cross the icy deserts of Greenland (sounds paradox in that perspective, doesn’t it?) until i reach San Francisco. Then, i guess it will be time for a quick change of clothes since I will have worn mine for the extended amount of not less than 20 hours... And even then, in San Francisco, I will not have travelled half the way since another plane will guide me over the Pacific Ocean towards my, for now, final destination, Sydney. I catch myself typing ‘Sydnet’ instead of ‘Sydney’ way too often. I should learn how to type with the 10-fingers system anyway.

I never got why planes always have to be that loud. Lately someone told me that there was something like a quiet plane in which they in fact had installed some speakers for the crew that imitated the sound of the machine for the good and simple reason the pilots couldn’t sleep without it. That’s awkward since i guess that well paid pilots do not necessarily live in the closer area to airports in order to get some good sleep. Or do they? These are the questions in life one really needs to look at. I will probably think twice about publishing this post due to its redundancy but then again...’COME OOOON!’

Bored on a plane...If you die all was for nothing...BAMMBAMM!!! For those of you who do not know what i am talking about (attention new English verb to come...), ‘youtube’ (like ‘google it’) ‘snakes on a plane in 5 seconds’. Still haven’t seen the movie itself but these 5 seconds clips are damn funny.

Life in a nutshell

Not quite. I have been lost again in this ever so inconvenient time of the year in which most things do get to me, I don't have time to do my sports and school just does not seem to reduce its workload on me. Short: It is time to move. Packing things is ahead of me and I still do not know where to start. Take the CDs or my emotions, the books or my mind and bury them in the depths of the paper cubes. Well, that being said, I feel nothing. Nothing really. It is about the same situation as last year when moving to Hong Kong: "I will only start to realize I'm leaving when I am actually on the plane." Right. That of course is one of these lies I calm my mind with and it does work substantially well. My head is calm during the day time, messy when I try to sleep, messy with things I still have to accomplish and organize before the plan shouts "HUUUUIIIII!!!!"

My motivation is here. And it is here to stay. That's quite a good thing considering the distance. If I can have such a big motivation to perform and live well in Sydney, this means that I have the quality to amaze myself with a lot of things. Well, there is nothing that is not amazing about the fact that I will leave my mother's continent for the 3rd one I will be living in. Sweet.

Thoughts about inner feelings have not changed and I am still that emotional wreck, that indecisive being that gives itself the creeps with its actions sometimes. Acting grown up they call that I think. I am even starting to like my grandpa's shoes I recently took from my mum's place. Brown leather shoes. Who would have expected that on me? Behaving and looking like a bum are different things though and so I took the opportunity to engender my looks to get accustomed to actually walk round in business clothing. I am still pledging on not having to wear this kinda clothing since I will be working for Amnesty - an organization which (according to my research) has a rather informal dresscode.

Take the emotions of a fifteen year old, add the turmoil in my head (bit like Gaza at the moment), a pinch of crashed creativity that needs to be released and the infamous need to chill: That's Christoph up until now in 2009.

There, the creeps. Self reflection. AARRGGHH!!!

random versatility

" Thoughts are the free mind's desire, captured to convey, to reveal. "

everything breaks - not funny.

For some reason, my main supplies for maintaining a dutch and urban life have decided to start a conspiracy against me by simply breaking. It is not really surprising, since this seems to always happen in the least favorable circumstances and situations, such as economic lows in my wallet or in places where I cannot replace them.

It all started with my laptop deciding to delete everything (including its operational system) by restarting it. This happened twice and fortunately I got a new laptop now. Secondly, my backpack broke and I had to replace it. Said and done. Thirdly, just as I went to school two things broke at once, which would be my headphones and my bike. I have the impression that ALL headphone companies (up until now: Shure, Skullcandy, Apple and Creative) include shitty cables that break easily so the consumer has to buy again (I have had mine for barely 2 months) and that bike builders suck too.

FKCU!!!!

what the deuce?

I use this opportunity to once again elucidate Lars' perception of us studying:

"We eat, sleep with beautiful women and occasionally have some projects going."

No mum and dad, that is not entirely true ;)

amsterdam and generell.

I just heard a casually funny remark of Dr. Lars M.

We just found out about the fact that on a weekend we were trying to spend in Amsterdam a lecture takes place. We also found out that Amsterdam is a pretty attractive and interesting city. Therefore, Lars made a - how I think - hilarious remark.

"Dann muessen wir unbedingt zum Burger Restaurant...und......GENERELL!"

Hope you speak German. If not, tant pis. If, for that matter you do also not speak french...may god have mercy on your soul ;)

life.

Life is good. Life has been good and that even though some of the passages seem to be plastered with hindrances and thresholds. The fact that I found an internship in Sydney with Amnesty International does certainly not belong to the sucky things that I am surrounded by every day such as missed opportunities, indifference and the dull feeling I sometimes carry around in my gaze.

My housemate Lars and two of my other friends have eventually finished setting up their exhibition and the vernissage took place last night. I truly enjoyed helping them with the finishing touches even though the difference in length of installation cables brought a lot of different, positive and negative feedback. Get over it Raphael... He asked me how this could have happened when having a couple of drinks at Kyra's and I told him a very nice story that was met with laughter and followed by a very uncertain face. It goes like this:

I was in charge of placing some additional pictures, hanging from the second, down to the first floor. I must admit I drank the night before cutting them so they were consequently uneven in length. Raphael then asked me why that had happened. I told him that Colm and I had placed bets on how close we could cut off the cable for the pictures free hand so they would resemble the model cable in length that Raphael had cut off himself. He believed me. In Germany we have a fairly retarded saying, namely: Stupid question, stupid answer!

The Europe Calling event also takes shape as time draws closer, giving me the chance to effectively spend my time with a topic I guessed to be terribly boring but in fact is not.

My new laptop allows me to be full part of the communication world which enables me to interact with everyone at any time, place and for a period I can choose myself. I find this simply stunning, considering the small and big troubles I have had lately with ICTs. I was actually loosing faith in technology for that matter. But then it came. My new metal thing! And everything works so much faster, nicer and more efficiently. In short - my standards are being met again. I don't know how anyone could have created something more beautiful, simpler and lighter, faster, thinner, black and silverisher, whitecabled, virility engendering, ..... than my new laptop (hinthintedyhinthint! Dear company that reconginzes itself here, please invite me for an interview for an internship or as Steve Job's assisstant in near future (preferably after I have finished my internship in Sydney) and all jobs that permit a paycheck higher than $200,000 per year or month, respectively).

This morning I woke up with the wonderful gift basket my mum sent me, containing plenty of sausage, a suit, shoes, wine, and, most importantly, Stifado, a well cooked and spiced Greek goulash. YUMM!!

Aight, cheers and g'day mate! Assimilation has started.

lasagna and essays.

Today is a feast again. So much lasagna and essay writing are simply a stunning combination which is why we decided to do exactly this. Now I am sitting in front of my screen, waiting like an antsy child for the meal to be ready. And I'm hungry. Terribly hungry. For those of you who have ever seen me in this state can tell that I am about to fly away only because of the speed and the acceleration my arms and jaws cause. I will rise and shine over the city with a smile of satisfaction on my lips that humbly hums: "Yes, yes, YEEEES!"

Metallica has become one of the bands I listen to most at the moment due to their fantastic new album. Sometimes it needs something like that to trigger the existing but forgotten affection for certain things in our life. The last time I wrote this was quite a while ago and that only shows how randomly rare such a 'happening' is.

Today, the workers in front of our house fixed the tram rails. Or better, the mess. For some (to me unknown) reason they lately decided to replace the asphalt leading the rails by thin lines of styrofoam. Yes, that's exactly what I thought too. Lasagna!!! Anyway, this stuff created such a mess in front of our house and is supposedly also bad for the environment that they filled the gaps today with new asphalt. Not enough (not that I am concerned but I feel for the people that are) that they waste money of taxpayers in order to keep the world's economy running, no, now they start to contradict themselves with infrastructure! Ah well, I don't understand a thing of what the workers did out there but I wanted to complain at least about something since the lasagna is still NOT ready. 10 minutes to go. I can do it. I am convinced. Now I need a nice pinch of perseverance. Right, that's it.

Lasagna's ready!

he waved hello silent like a mime

University wise my life is back on track. After giving me heaps of shite for a good new start, my Uni did pretty much everything to make my life more difficult and make me walk through the anyway rainy streets with a rather depressed attitude, asking myself "Do I really need this right now?!?" I didn't. It was time to get over that and I did eventually.

In fact Hong Kong was once again warmed up in my mind when lovely Adele arrived on a Thursday night and stayed for as long as one week in the place I call my home. A home that dwinldes but still my home. The week was fantastic and Adele a fully integrated member of our 6-headed community. She arrived around 11:00 pm and we started to get warmed up for a long night out when she suddenly pulled something bottle shaped out of her bag - something that would change the outcome of the evening decisively. Talisker. Scotch. 1 liter. MY GOD! "Some Ice, Adele?", "Nah, just straight please!" Said and done we went to "Het Paard", listening to drum 'n' bass, electro and all kinds of alternative tunes. Good fun, good night.

The next morning was fairly miserable, but hey, that's the deal, right?


I haven't made any progress with my dictionnary so far and my time management is really tight at the moment since I am working off my presentations for this semester in the first half. Well, and some courses require simply a lot of reading. My dream is to simply chill in my armchair with some big headphones, listening to all my favorite songs really loudly forgetting about the world and think of the bluest lights that can surround me. This day will come and I don't want to make this sound like I am all so unhappy which is simply not true. Lars has introduced me to "Six Feet Under", a TV show that has already taken its toll on me - a show that displays once more that the life I am leading is pretty damn good!

Now I am for instance taking the time to go down to the pitch to play some of my favorite sport! Season has started and I truly am loving it to play with the team again.

So far for now, and, needless to say that Elliot Smith is sugar sweet melancholie in my ears.

the hague and dictionaries for odd people.

School has started yesterday and everyone has by now acquired the motionless feeling of being back in the daily life of foreign students, living in the Netherlands. Can you blame us? This weekend has been too fantastic to make the coming period seem nearly as sunny as the last couple of days. On the other hand I am quite glad to be back because I will have a fix routine and stuff to do.

I, for the first time in my life, am now owner of a fitness card and therefore pay for fitness. Nobody could have guessed that this day would come (for those who didn't know: I despised fitness and always regarded it as redundant and a sportive activity only business people perform because they don't have the time to do proper sports) but now it is here - I am fitness. Can you actually say this? Consequently, I have a meeting with the - how I shall henceforth name him - GYM MASTER who will show me around the facilities tomorrow at "4 o' clock sharp!". Sir, yes, Sir.

What else?

I am constantly developing the idea of writing a dictionary for neologisms of mine. I am not talking of new word inventions in the funny sense but rather situations, habits, feelings and expressions that have not been named yet.

When I did my civil service in an elementary school, the children sometimes showed a certain kind of enthusiasm I don't have a name for. I think most people have encountered a certain expression of joy but children do it in a very specific way: after the first rush of joy is gone, a certain density of facial expressions commences that will make them aware of the joy they are experiencing and therefore start acting in a more set and down-to-earth kind of manner. What then starts is I think called busy. Business and motivation flood the room and something clicks in the child's mind and the joy cannot forbid it to be all serious so they continue being goofy and childish (well, they are children...) as well as getting back into this down-to-earth mood. It then collapses when realization kicks in. The realization of past acts of joy. And this expression, manner of behavior or whatever you may call it - I simply don't have a word for it. And neither has anyone, do they? That's the reason I want to take up the idea and create a dictionary that emphasizes mainly on such expressions or manners or whatever you may call it.

Oh yes, I will take up Lars' idea of cutting stencils for our hallway.

Bonne nuit. A tout le monde.

will it come back?

The last few days I have been very quiet for the simple reason that my life is mainly dominated by thoughts I keep on squeezing up and up again in my brain - like a tube of toothpaste which is empty but that can still be used to get a little out of. These thoughts I squeeze are beautiful in nature and concern my time in Hong Kong. I am raiding people's Facebook accounts, looking at their pictures, being amazed how much I missed out when being in that exact place. I want the time back and that's why I keep on squeezing and pressing until my head hurts and I find myself in the state of pitty I found myself in a couple of times when being in that exact place. Realizing it's over only came now. It only came now that I realize it's over, that nothing can bring back these times and that I have to accept that fact. I cannot bring all the people and the exact environment together to just live on and on and on. I will meet people again but will it be the same? Won't it be more like: "Oh dear, do you remember that time?", indulging ourselves with what used to be rather than to concern ourselves with what is and what will be? I guess time is and always was my enemy in so far as I would love to put time on stop and experience certain moments or spans of time forever or at least something more imaginable.

At the same time I should be so grateful being as privileged as I am to have had the experiences and to change with them. And here I am, seeming to fail but still not giving up hope to bring it back to something I cannot bring back. I am overly melancholic as well. I think most people are when they think of times that were lifechangingly good. They (including myself here) seem to oversee negative experiences that used to be part of the positive whole which again makes them seem positive.

Just thoughts. Nothing more.

of flies and men.

I'm lately beset by thoughts of how men differ from animals. They don't. Well, let's say men are complicated animals - at least I do think that.

I am basically talking about myself here, since this is the only reference I have. You see, I have not yet discussed this topic so I'd like to know if you, dear reader, would agree or disagree with my point of view.

Now, the basic argument to defend my thesis is a trivialization. That's why I took one of the, in my eyes purest of mother nature's animals - the fly. Pure, because their life is very short and only serves the purpose of surviving to give birth to small flies within a couple of days after their birth. Is already this a similarity?

The fly sat down and started cleaning itself on my arm. It simply strapped off the ballast that clung to its legs and flew again. I watched it flying abrupt turns with a system that could not have been any more unclear to me. I drank my coffee, feeling for this small insect that obviously was as confused as me when I am walking in a supermarket, trying to figure out what to eat. Similarity number two. At a certain point this confusion had passed as the fly began to fly towards a small girl sitting next to my table. It sat down on her neck, obviously attracted by the moisture human skin produces in small quantities. It started cleaning its legs again and eventually started to suck up the thin layer of moist.

And so do we. We are no different than flies or any other being. The only thing that distinguishes us from them is triviality. Our problems seem to be so complex for we don't see that they consist of several small attributes - small pieces that are problems themselves, be it laziness, unwillingness or just fear. Whereas the fly straps off all its ballast that hinders it from tasting, flying straight or eating properly, we push problems. Everyone does. I believe there is no one that gets rid of all problems that may hinder the way. The fly does. It simply cleans itself. And that's what makes us complicated. The bigger the problem, the more numerous are the attributes from which it evolves and the more people it involves, either directly or indirectly connected.

Our life basically consists of small problems, just like the fly's life exists of an urge to find new food, or just to survive as long as it can to give birth to as many flies as it can (which can be a problem because they are so annoying to us). These problems give that fly a reason to exist. It knows (or maybe not): "I don't know much but I have to give birth to some other flies in order for us to survive. And I am hungry. What's that long thing in my face called again?!? Damn it....my brain's simply too small. Flag it!"

We should just do it like the fly and confront our problems right away in order to keep them fairly small. I think that humans develop more and more towards being so complicated that a distortion or even an abstraction of mind sets or the being itself takes place. Is there a human being that is just as trivial as a fly? Is this even desirable? Do we want to get rid of our problems straight away or do we have to keep them within us because we exist to be thrilled by something?

Well, I am back. Back in the country that should've served as my transition before coming to Germany. But here I am after all. The reality slowly catches up with me as my mind slowly focuses on matters that do matter. Studying obviously for the moment, internship applications later. I am excited to see where the world will put me but at the same time I feel the solitude of a student who has only 4 months at his University. Such a short time and still so many things to accomplish. I am sitting in my newly decorated room, trying not to think too much about what is going to come. Fukuyama does not really help me to get on with this thought but at least it's some kind of distraction.

The end of history? Certainly not.

of blue lights.

Hamburg is a city that has its very own, unique charm. It is after long nights out that I enjoy sitting by the harbour most, looking out for the sunrise and ships moving back and forth, forth and back. Sunrise and sunset alike fill the scenery with golden colors and warmth. That is the time when I close my eyes and see the blood red of my eye lids becoming more and more intense, listening to the ships moving back and forth, forth and back.

Yesterday, I went to the harbour and felt the solitude surrounding me as I swept away in the long views of lost lights. The blue was cold, yet warm as I felt the calm melody of our song dripping softly into my ears filling it with red waves of blue light. Nothing matters in times like these. No future, no past, not even the present and the thought itself. Only the ships move back and forth. Back and forth.

belated picture update - pt 2

The ornamentic and carvings in the temples of Angkor. It is stunning.

Sunrise, sunrise,... At the temple on top of the hill in Angkor.

On the Meking, waiting for the fresh water dolphins. If you read Lars' blog you can read the story of the "Papagaienduijkers" and you'll know what I felt like.

In the Ratanakiri province in Cambodia.

Being lazy on the lake I was musing about in an earlier post. It was so beautiful.

belated picture update.

Borneo - the diver's paradise

still on the dive trip on the beautiful island of Sipadan.

The slightly disapointing Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur

Sam, Jojo and I in Siem Reap, one night before visiting the temples of Angkor.

She is one of the cutest children i have met on this journey. Short story - I always have and still do find bus trips absolutely terrible and boring. Thus, I thought how bad it must be for this small girl in Borneo and got to the result - even worse. She was with her sister and I started making funny faces which the two enjoyed a lot and answered to me in the same manner. The bus ride passed by a lot faster and I will not forget their looks of appreciation, a look I got to know in Hong Kong. It is a look of relief, a look of sympathy and a look of astonishment. That and a little smile - how much better can looks get?